The closed book of my life opens often to people I enjoy and trust. I will readily share a thought, feeling or important event...but no one has the whole picture; no one knows everything about me, everything that makes me tick. Only I know that.
I was raised in the "what will people think" parenting mode and, therefore, I am a fairly reserved person and cautious about the image I present to the world. I care, too much perhaps, about how the cover of my life book, my surface, looks to others. And I know I am not alone.
I do sometimes admire those who are more "out there", and I have always joked that when I go to a party, I will be drawn to the loudmouth dancing on the coffee table, wearing a lampshade on his head; but here's the odd truth about that guy: he's probably even harder to get to really know than I am because he has a much more flamboyant act and more layers. That's his chosen surface, not so different from the kid in the classroom who is painfully shy and morphs into the class clown in order to cope. In fact, he probably WAS that kid!
We all have the surface that we choose to present to the world and each other. Like me, many elect to not reveal every element of themselves. Maybe there are marriages or best friend relationships where the two people involved deeply know the all of each other. I would like to think such relationships exist,and I believe they do. But not for me, given my childhood lessons.
And that's OK because I know the real me, the ever changing pages that go between the front and back cover. No one has yet to read the whole book; I suspect no one ever will.