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Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Boxed In or Not?

Theme Thursday - Box
"What will the neighbors think?"  That's what I often heard from my mom and dad when I was young and impressionable. It seems it was lots about appearances, making sure that our family looked "normal".  And we were normal, meaning we were as dysfunctional as everyone else; but no one was owning up to anything.

Thinking outside the box, only a popular phrase much later on, was a revelation when I experienced it for the first time. In fact, I slipped outside the box before I even knew what that meant. I was 18 and newly arrived as a freshman in Berkeley, away from home for the first time, unless you count my one very homesick adventure at a depressing church camp.

I arrived in all my innocence and was amazed at what I observed. For the few months, I walked around campus decked out in my Sally Sorority denim skirt, madras shirt, and scuffed loafers, wearing the startled facial expression of a deer caught in the proverbial head lights. In fact, I was so engrossed in what was happening around me, I didn't have much energy left over to put into my studies...an oops situation that was sadly reflected in my first semester's slumping GPA.

Balance ensued eventually, and I learned to hit the books while sampling the varied experiences that Cal had to offer: toga parties, Nelson Rockefeller, Richard Nixon, keggers, Malcolm X, the Smothers Brothers, Ronald Reagan, the Big Game, a worldly and sophisticated roommate from New York, JFK at Charter Day, Harry Belafonte, and on and on. Then came the Free Speech Movement and, like witnessing  a UFO landing, I was wide-eyed with incredulity. Question authority? Take over the administration building? Holler and picket? Who did these things? Well, a lot of people, apparently. I'd never seen anything like it.

By the time I finished my four year adventure, I was not the same person. The safety and the narrowness of the box in which I was raised will always be a part of me, and there were many useful lessons learned growing up in Santa Rosa; I am not totally knocking it. In fact, I am grateful for it. However, I am so thankful that my parents, as conservative as they were, encouraged and allowed me to try my wings when I was still, as my father always told me, "wet behind the ears". It was a profound and beyond-the-text-book-experience that shaped, in so many ways, who I am today.

Thanks, Mom and Dad.

9 comments:

  1. A very interesting post, Jan. I went to University late in life .... well, in my mid-30s. And when I finished (graduating with Highest Honors, thankyouverymuch) I, too, had the feeling that I was not the same person as when I started. It was more like a butterfly emerging from the confines of its cocoon. A true metamorphosis. Good post. I very much enjoyed it.

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  2. Fabulous. I hated University and never really got much into the lifestyle there. A broken heard then a new boyfriend seemed much better distractions. It did help me grow though and made transition into the grown up world a little easier having felt that I'd kicked up my heels and waved a plaquard or two!

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  3. great post. my years at university scare me when i look back on them but they in many ways opened doors i still walk through today.

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  4. Yes.Bless The Box Builders!We All Need The Respect & Comfort That A Good Nesting-Box Brings.
    Happy T.T.
    Regards From Tony.

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  5. I was right there with you through this story. Fantastic to have grown up safe, unrealistic as that was. Thank God for that background, though. Good story!

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  6. Excellent. My University years contained LOTS of growth for me too. I do hope that my kiddos do not "experience life" to the extent that I did back then but it certainly made me think outside my very sheltered box!

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  7. Your years at Berkely sound very exciting. Being from the midwest, we always heard what a cool place Berkely was. Thanks for sharing your adventures : )

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  8. While I never had an experience like this at a big school, I do remember those times very well. You took me back.

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  9. Parents who know how to let go but still keep you safe are a blessing indeed. Happy TT

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