I always wake up with a start once I slam into that brick wall of despair, relieved to discover that I am once again in night terror mode. What does this say about my relationship with schools? In both scenarios I find myself in situations where I have completely lost control of what is happening; and, now that I think about it, that was the reality, especially in the retirement dream. Thank goodness that hopeless, trapped feeling is now behind me, except when it infrequently revisits me while I sleep. When I spring awake, I remember that I am finally free and my own boss.