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Thursday, October 11, 2012

On Becoming a Girlfriend, Again

Me, Kathy, and Di

I suppose this is the autumn of my life, but it feels more like spring as I am finding myself returning to my past and rekindling lost friendships with high school chums. Why now? Certainly my 50th high school reunion was a major catalyst for this surprising revolution, but other factors have played a part as well.

1. I find myself with extra time on my hands. Thank you, retirement! I have been busy pursuing long lost hobbies: painting, photography, knitting...and developing new ones, blogging and discovering that I love to write. It's like journaling for me or, perhaps, a mutant form of scrapbooking. My life on a page.

2. The dynamics of my main group of pals has changed and not in a good way. Get-togethers of all 9 of us often turn into contests where everyone is talking and no one, except me it seems, is listening. Perhaps after 20 plus years together, we are not such a good mix. Or maybe I just don't fit in anymore. I like conversation; these Group of Nine gatherings are yelling matches with the same person always winning because she has the loudest, shrillest voice imaginable. It is amusing, though somewhat deafening, to watch the situation unfold in all its self-centeredness. My thought: clearly time to expand my horizons a bit.

So that is exactly what I have done, still keeping tabs on the Group of Nine, in all their dysfunctional glory and recognizing that when I see only three or four of them, rather than the whole group, we have great fun and there is actual conversation, with give and take...question asking, even. What a concept!  
I think it is working for me. I think I am on the right path in my autumn.

Mary Jo, Kathy, Me, and Di


  1. Group dynamics are very interesting. I have read a lot about them and like to see how different groups of people work together. It's good to hear that you are finding what works for you and your friends. I also retired a few months ago and joined one women's group. It is a large group and seems to work well. There are 2 smaller groups within the large group that get together monthly. I was asked to join both, but am wondering if I've over extended myself. But now the dillema is which one to leave and how to do that without causing hard feeelings. Maybe I will go on as is for now : )

  2. That's interestin because I've just joined a school feed site and have reconnected with some old graduating students that I haven't seen for years. Rather nice that some remember me frankly. I do believe though, that as we age, the art of listening is lost. Everyone seems to have their own agenda and experiences. Keep taking the time to listen, it's refreshing.

  3. Well, good for you! I've had to learn this lesson more than a few times. Life is too short to continue on in something you aren't enjoying! I'm glad you've found the small group!

  4. I'm jealous. How nice that your friends are close enough to see. I have three good friends from high school, but all are scattered. Facebook, phone calls, and the infrequent visit are a poor substitute to sitting and sharing a bottle of wine.


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